August 2000
I'm proud of Shunt! Even though the 'Jezebel' EP hasn't yet hit the hairy palms of the sweaty masses, Shuntese everywhere are doing their darndest to keep on topic... even if some of the techniques employed are a bit of a stretch. Recoil, or at least Alan, was discussed just about as much as fellatio and homosexuality. As the faithful reader knows, this amounts to a near apocalyptic event.
I will begin however, by picking apart one smarmy little Shuntlette who you all know as the sultry and readily available Raven Floyd. Miss Gothpants seems to think that I have an unhealthy predilection for all things Fox Puppy. I assure you I do not, my pulchritudinous Piekarski pet. My tastes run more toward the Juliesque, even though she would probably punch me. The reason Fox Puppy gets the quote of the month so often is because he has absolutely no shame and frequently makes an arse of himself. Consider yourself told.
Raven also convinced us that she was just 'broken up' over the Smashing Pumpkins break up... in a pig's eye! The order in which Depeche Mode's names are listed in the '101' opening credits was discussed to a degree I couldn't help but find excessive and Fox Puppy also thought that Alan seemed to be the only Depeche Mode member remotely interested in meeting fans in the movie.
Fox Puppy went on to list all his records prompting other tedious egomaniacs to do the same (except Julie - everything Julie does is ok). Shane had some interesting live Recoil ideas and Monica tried to convert a couple of innocents to Recoilism.
Qblues asked Alan about his Emu, provoking the usual tiresome and yet strangely amusing satire from the peanut gallery, Julie wanted to know what constitutes a 'Shunt personality' (well, Julie...YOU!) while Paul kindly posted an old 'Keyboard' article about 'Unsound Methods'. KJ channelled Alan for Fox Puppy and Vi announced the sad death of Alec Guinness. Shunt, being full of nerds, mourned.
Kristina asked for help in purchasing her new PC while Mark updated his Recoil website information. Julie wrote a new spoken word piece in reaction to skinheads and Ken finished editing his 'Recoiling in Chicago' program - copies available soon (I hope! ). Gear whores talked about gear, Tori Amos fans talked about Tori and everybody had something to say about tits and early 90s nostalgia.
In the "Way Too Close To Being Depeche Mode" department, KJ discovered a nail polish called 'Black Box'. Goths everywhere cheered or at least shuffled their feet and stared at the floor in an effort to appear jubilant. Hark hark, is that a Raven I hear?
Bernard's 'Side-Line' featured an interview with Alan regarding the 'Jezebel' release and Scott announced that the EP was ready to be ordered from Mute. Luca wanted Alan to use Nico as a collaborator but Julie blew a gasket. Julie also garners the dubious distinction of being the first to mention Alan's colon on Shunt.
Speaking of colons, Luca came out and Ken hopped on, KJ mentioned a possible CharlieCon UK and Scott posted evidence of Henry Rollins selling out. Farhan thought he'd aquired a copy of Alan performing a demo 'If You Want' but Shuntsters mercilessly tormented him. Have I mentioned that I'm glad to have Shaun back yet? Bill Leeb was talked about more than Alan's colon, shockingly enough, and Neil heard 'Jezebel' on Radio 1. The evil techno vs. rock thread reared its ugly head yet again as did, inevitably enough, talk of the upcoming American presidential election.
Luca posted that Depeche Mode might do a track on an upcoming Smashing Pumpkins tribute album but Bernard shattered the hoax, Scott was the first to review the 'Jezebel' video on the Shunt site while Garth received and enjoyed his promo copy. Johnny Reb saw 'The Cell', KJ slammed it for its apparent abuse of the science of psychological profiling and absolutely nobody was surprised. Hope will use Recoil in her circus of sex and Igor heard rumours of an 'Edge To Life' single.
Raven wants a giant Recoil convention, like a Mode convention, KJ had a weird dream about a Recoil convention, Monica went to the Los Angeles Depeche Mode convention and Pilaf won the grand prize at the same event for being, for all intents and purposes, Martin Gore. Monica then noted Alan's generosity at said convention and wondered aloud if he had ever done something that nice in the past prompting KJ to remind her of Alan's previous CharlieCon graciousness.
Micah announced the death of the nude creator of the lava lamp (er... that's what I said), Raven demanded to know what our top ten favourite Recoil songs are, Rich told us to download promotional e-cards for 'Jezebel' and KJ wondered if there should be different Recoil marketing ploys for different parts of the world. Scott and Raven enjoyed the 'Jezebel' single, Dusty announced another Swedish Depeche Mode cover album and revealed the equally laughable Marilyn Manson track list for their new album. Finally, rampant speculation as to what Alan means by 'new project' continues at this writing and will probably get even sillier by the time Mr. Wilder throws those poor dogs a bone.
Allison wins Quote Of The Month hands down with:

"Martin [Gore] was an eighties girl in the purest form, big hair and all. We dressed like him while he dressed like us."
Until next month, you've been tongued by,
Mike Daniella
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe