August 2002
Olli started the month off posting news of an eBay auction of the 2-track 'Black Box' sampler which eventually sold for over $60. Perhaps the purchaser was not aware that the full version of 'Black Box' is available for $5.99 at his local Tower Records - on the 'Jezebel' single. Chris made fun of the silly completist (which is of course not to infer that the full version of 'Black Box' is not worth 60 bucks) because it was one of the Tongue Petals Team of Trained Monkeys who bought it. So shut up, Chris!
J. Christian Guerrero mentioned Recoil but, given the context, I think he may have been referring to a firearm. Olli continued his streak of Recoil-related posts by reporting that 'The Monkey's Mask' (a film with the instrumental mix of 'Jezebel' on it's soundtrack) was shown on German television.
Jason B brought up what may well be Alan's least favourite memory (aside from the plane crash); Depeche Mode's video for 'The Meaning Of Love'. Shaun countered that the video for 'Leave In Silence' is far worse. The Tongue Petals Team of Trained Monkeys feel that we may be able to put an end to this discussion once and for all, with the following four words:

'It's Called A Heart'
Zina, Pilaf and Wendy talked about God Lives Underwater while Micah and Laura had some transatlantic translation issues with Laura butchering English in a most charming way.
Questions were 'um' raised regarding whether or not Douglas the Depraved was indeed 'working it' at the time the vocal tracks for 'Stalker' were recorded. PK, who had the unfortunate task of cleaning up the recording booth after this session, declined to comment.
Bernard + Henrik talked new releases and Laura (surprise!) brought up lesbianism and gay-o-meter tests. Speaking of which, Jason B asked for lesbian porn + Micah (we're done speaking of lesbians now) praised the new Underworld CD which, despite not being released for a month, he has already been enjoying for over a month. Henrik, in the same situation, dissed the album as "Dire Straits for the rave generation". Ouch.
Simon talked rock music, Dr. LaVey saw Mum and Steve talked Recoil B-sides. Rumours were abound this month regarding Alan's possible involvement with the David Gahan solo project and Micah gave us a breakdown of Alan's relationship with Martin, Fletch and Dave in simple, easy to understand, everyday terms. Bernard stumped Brian on the ins and outs of corfing and Dinie requested Alan make a pop album.

Dinie, unfortunately, was found beaten to death the next morning.
Sam/Jerry, like a gentle spring breeze, blew through the list in mid-month, wrote a song about flatulence and potatoes, talked about people being shot in Mississippi and discussed The Beatles (managing to directly quote Alan in the process) . Laura, who seems to know everyone's birthday on Shunt, hoped Kristina Moodie had a nice one.
Jason created a Recoil drinking game and talked about the age of consent in Texas. For the lay person, that would be the age at which teenagers may have consenting sex with an adult... not the Bronski Beat album.

We're all just trying to avoid confusion here.

Laura wondered why Tongue Petals took so long to show up last month (blame Jesus - we do.) and took the time to post the longest message ever not written in English. At least it was about Recoil - I think.
Jonathan Parks turned to the list for suggestions on music for a ten hour driving trip, and Tove put on a sequinned cape and talked about Liberace - a Shunt first on my watch. Raven debated whether or not Recoil is "pop" whilst Chris and Kristina talked about how much the list sucks. Laura Ahonen was kind enough to publicly apologize for the aforementioned sucking.
Now on to things which do not suck. Fabe threw not one, but two Recoil parties and provided the list with the awe-inspiring Alan-centric play lists. Ruslan posted links to his Russian synth pop and J. Christian Guerrero theoretically compared Recoil to the 'Blade Runner' soundtrack.
Henrik, Raven and Micah discussed the 'Come Alive' (re)mix Alan did and Micah talked about which artists make him feel inferior. The whole list pretty much joined a conversation late in the month as to which elements of a sound make them 'Alan Wilder sounds'. Things that kept coming up were "good", "not lame" and "the part that doesn't suck".
Zander talked about 24 hour party people, Zina wanted to slit her wrists with Laura's work knives and Zelda was kidnapped by Gannon and taken to a castle far away where the last piece of the Triforce is also hidden.

Finally this month, Fox Puppy, Marco P and Julie Finley came back. Unfortunately they all returned at the arse end of August so nothing all that cool was said. Stay tuned for next month's episode. I predict it is going to get ugly.

Here is August's statistical rundown:

Rumours of Alan collaborating on Dave's solo album - 90
Times the word 'suck' was used in this month's TP - 4
Remote controlled robots that fight each other for prizes -14
Potatoes and what exactly the price thereof has to do with anything - 9
Good music to drive to - 16
Ballet classes and what exactly the price thereof has to do with anything - 5
Pizza toppings and the nice (or not so nice) men who prepare them for you - 12
Japanese animation movies and their soundtracks - 24
Thinly veiled Nintendo references in this month's TP - 1

Out of a massive 378 messages, Shunt's elite managed to mention Alan Wilder and/or Recoil in a wondrous 263 posts! Good on ya!

Quote Of The Month:

goes to Sam/Jerry, who brought forth this jaw dropping sentence... behold!
"When I posted previously, I had left an alias on my e-mail address settings in case anybody wondered why my name changed. I just changed it back. Actually, it was my evil twin. He's from France. I found him in a lookalike contest. He is not a hoax...he wasn't in a car no attention to the hand behind his head. He had to learn to play bass left-handed. He's not dead... he's only sleeping."
Err... ok.

Frightened, as always:
Sebastian K.
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe