TONGUE PETALS 
August 1999
SANITY RETURNS TO SHUNT AT LAST.....
Shunt was a cornucopia of discoveries this month and Recoil fans seemed to have revelation after revelation - spiritual, factual or Ben-inspired which is neither spiritual nor factual. KJ discovered that Geri Halliwell's 'Schizophonic' is a load of rubbish while she and Jen Jordan realised that they both love hamsters.
Numerous parodies were sighted and Julie's were deemed the raunchiest. Michael LaVey tried to lose weight while Bernard explained the true nature of Gothdom. Scientology made everyone cringe and John found out he was a Latvian nationalist. Chris reinforced the idea that Courtney killed Kurt (investigations are under way) and Marks praised Joy Division.
KJ dared everyone to talk about Recoil while Objet got back his radio show and Dusty unfortunately lost his. Julie punished me and I liked it. Richard Berry stumbled upon the most earth shattering, disturbing event known to man: WIlliam Shatner sings. Kristina's sexuality awakened while KJ detested long haired men and Chris and Ulricha explained Buddhism while Sabbie played tennis. YellowOx prostrated himself before Alan and begged for sample material from the upcoming album, Raven played Punnet Squares on Depeche Mode breeding potential and KJ invited people to join her cult... I mean commune.
Marks and others hated fat women, fat women fought back and all we really learned is that nobody knows how to communicate in the dead of summer. Dusty pointed out the tragic flaws of Christian videos and music whilst Jenna hypothesized about the future of Shuntism.
KJ pokemonned various characters on the list while Rich unearthed a Massive Attack site, Joe created Recoil wallpaper and Jen anticipated the Shunt Sleep Over, taking place as I write.
Brady was told "Yes, Virginia, Erasure ARE gay!", Marco waxed poetic about the eclipse in Europe while Jen started the favourite music thread again. KJ got everyone to take the depressing colour quiz while Scott and Duck survived a rare Salt Lake City tornado. KJ and Julie discussed the purpose of cynicism - interrupted briefly when Julie asked the question: "My god, does Alan hate Elvis?"
Fox Puppy came on the scene, already brandishing his special blend of indirect language and magical happy logic and got several people to think he did not give props to Curve's Dean Garcia. Mike wondered about recognition technology, Marks wondered about the Japanese police phone taps and Shuntsters turned into Windowlickers while the majority agreed that Trent Reznor bites. Summer and KJ talked about ethical medicine while Fox Puppy and LaVey debated the birth of industrial.
Once again the literary Nazis geeked out while Marks responded in his way, to KJ and Kristina's discussion. Dandy Maida asked "What's your sign?" and, like merry sheep, Shunt answered. Sabinal wanted to create a Shunt footie team and KJ took a ride on the Shunt Whore Bus. LaVey wanted everyone to love Henry Rollins while Raven sang the praises of Led Zeppelin.
Marco met Anne Berning and got a little tasty info about the new Recoil album, big Texas Ben wrote a List of Losers and, like fish in a barrel, the losers in question succumbed. Heather bitched incessantly about the list which is odd, because she's still on it and Chris gently pointed out the Shunt List mission statement which should clarify everything, even for her.
In a dramatic comeback from last month, I actually had THREE Quotes Of The Month but decided on this one from Duck:






"And here I thought 'plethora' was a light, chicken gravy."
I am duly impressed and truly pleased - at least while we're all pining for a new album, we haven't stopped our search for good music, good times and good wit.
Until next month, you've been tongued by:
Mike Daniella
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe