December 2002
The on-list bashing of Britain's most debonair secret agent continued in this, the last month of 2002, with Alien and Jonathan chiming in to befoul the good name of James Bond. Jason B tried in vain to lift the spirits of the list with some Recoil-inspired cheerleading although Benjamin Williams' similarly theme'd interpretative dance was slightly more well received . Zander took issue with gay men being compared to greeting cards and Julie Finley stole more music in one day than the entire Tongue Petals staff purchased in the whole year. Congratulations Ms. Finley! That's our little girl…
Micah lashed out against 'Queer As Folk' not only for it's reinforcement of negative gay stereotypes but also for it's poor choice in setting. They don't take kindly in Pittsburgh to those who don't take kindly, y'hear? Chris and Dr. LaVey conspired to provide bootlegged Sigur Ros shows to the list, Julie trotted out her impressive Diamanda Galas t-shirt designs and Ben granted Ozan Kacar the coveted 'Moron of the Month' award. Ozan made no friends on list this month, even going so far as to incur the wrath of Laura Ahonen. We at Tongue Petals Central were (up to this point) unaware that Laura had a wrath. Fear it.
Henrik and Kristina Moodie discussed the high occurrence of drunken cheek-biting while Rudi wondered what Radiohead is up to these days. Allison Goldfrapp, PJ Harvey, Nick Cave and Jon Thor Birgisson were all named as collaborator hopefuls by the likes of Raven and Paul. Ben Williams was taken to task over 'New York Nights' while Rudi and Hardy discussed the unlikelihood of Alan and Blixa Bargeld ever collaborating.
Simon and others wondered about the increasing girths of Pearl Jam members and J. Christian Guererro was moistened by the mere image of Orlando Bloom, in addition to managing to insert the word "allocated" into conversation.
Rich came bearing Christmas gifts in the form of new Massive Attack MP3's, however, the untimely death of Joe Strummer from the Clash ended the month on a sad note. Steve Shreve still managed to somehow be home and conscious at 10.48pm on New Year's Eve to send the last post of 2002, which we were all far to wasted to read. Our bad.

This month, we shall forego the usual statistical breakdown in favour of Tongue Petals' first ever comprehensive Year-End Statistical Breakdown. During 2002, we at Tongue Petals Central have saved every single one of your posts in anticipation of this. Enjoy!:

(that would be gear speak to the lay-person) – 95
Footy – 101
Compact Discs free'd from corporate slavery
(i.e. stolen) by Julie Finley - 84
Posts about, containing reference to, or written while under the influence of illegal drugs – 21
(seems strangely low to us…)
You say it's your birthday? - 34
Rock star deaths and lamentations for those lost - 51
Noting how little Recoil gets mentioned – 81
Mute Record's sale to EMI – 96
Alan's involvement
(or lack thereof) in Dave's Record – 218
Posts by Laura Ahonen
(we kid you not) – 704

In palindromic 2002, 3843 messages were posted to the Shunt mailing list. Of that number, 1199 managed to be on-topic and contain some mention of Alan Wilder or Recoil.

Quote Of The Month

... goes to Chris, who tickled our fancies and fannies with the following chuckle-inducing blurb directed at Laura Ahonen, and claims sobriety:
"Being Finnish is sort of like being drunk all the time though, isn't it?"
And another Tongue Petals first. We are proud to announce this year's

Quote Of The Year.

We selected one that we felt served as an encapsulation of what the year was like on Shunt. With that in mind, we present the following:

Micah Stupak - when asked "Have you guys ever tried haiku?" replied:

"Yeah, I did a few lines of haiku a while back. Easier than cocaine, but much less buzz."

There ladies and gentlemen is your Quote of the Year. We can't remember laughing so hard…

At Tongue Petals Central (from here on to be referred to - á la Snoop Doggy Dogg - as "Tha TPC"), our entire staff has gathered in a secret underground lair to enjoy the holiday season with good food, hearty drink and pleasant company. It's difficult these days to forget about impending war, economic down-turns and mind-numbing violence inflicted on a global scale but here at Tha TPC we wish you all a very happy and safe holiday season. A glass raised to narrowly avoiding the destruction of life on Earth in 2003!

Sebastian K.
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe