TONGUE PETALS 
December 1999
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU'RE NOT DEAD
Not only are you alive but your computer didn't crash, your electricity works, and your phone lines are intact. Now, my little Shuntlings, don't you feel silly? Shunt was frenzied with Y2K horror this month along with midgets, tattoos, piercings, drugs, men's hair length and to some degree, 'Liquid'. Shuntsters talked of nothing but the upcoming album until the calendar started creeping closer towards December 31st. Maybe momentum was lost because they believe they won't live long enough to hear the thing (due March 7th). Yet as I said, if you're reading this, you're safe... to twitch and writhe until 'Liquid' comes out!
Recoil discussion was quite vibrant around the 1st. The Nine Inch Nails concert preview of 'Liquid' made Marco horny. Fox Puppy rehashed the fan promotion thread with interesting results. Joe reported that Sonya Madan will be featured on the first single before it was announced on the Shunt site. Sabinal wondered why there was a rift between Recoil and DM fans. Marco made a stunning first draft of KJ's Recoil cover/MP3 site idea.
Joe discovered the secret link between Ben Williams and Paris Wilder. Alan's trip over the PA at the NIN show in London was discussed by the press and, of course, Shunt. Henrik asked how we would interview Alan were we given the opportunity and Jen Jordan wondered what crazy attention scheme we would create if a promo copy of 'Liquid' were the prize. Jason discovered that some of the samples from 'Red River Cargo' were on a Martin Luther King Jr. documentary while John Ogilvie thought he discovered 'Aladdin Sane' samples on 'Bloodline' - I have it on good authority that he was mistaken, however.
Marco created the Paris Wilder fan page. Scott dredged up old reviews of 'Unsound Methods' which claim that Recoil fans need psychiatric help (and Shunt is the evidence)! Ken got a thank you note from Hepzibah while Sissel posted the Allstar article which revealed the theme of the new Recoil album.
LaVey asked Nicole Blackman how 'Chrome' fits in the plane crash aura whilst KJ roused Shuntsters (well, Ken) to get on the NIN MTV chat and ask about Mr. Reznor's use of 'Liquid'. KJ, Ken and Yolanda also posted reviews of 'Chrome' - James didn't know what 'Chrome' was which isn't surprising as he has not yet mastered fourth grade grammar.
In other business, Chris taught Maggie how to protect her ass on the Net, LaVey explained the hairy situation in Seattle and Shane made a clumsy attempt to understand how women feel about sex. We had a 'Bad 80's Songs That Stick In Your Head ' war so Dusty felt the need to list horrendous 'Ultra' lyrics. Dusty also asked everyone to list their favourite appliances while LaVey asked about our favourite novels.
Inspired, Marks reviewed all the Mode albums and started another little Nitzer Ebb thread. Gamer geeks geeked out while we all played "Six Degrees of Alan Wilder". Joe, Emily and Jen Jordan were involved (and perhaps still are) in the Great Otterpop Conspiracy. For non-Americans, an Otterpop is a cylindrical piece of ice about eight inches long, filled with syrupy fruit flavours. You suck on them. I'm not making this up. I'm starting to wonder about Joe, Em and Jen.
Alison asked what our three favourite cover tunes were. Scott reported on the Utah Shunt mini-gathering and Ken listed what he wants in a man. Shane talked about how unbelievably stupidly close he's come to death, Alison lamented her tits and we all hate Marilyn Manson.

We explored metal, hip hop, country and perfume. Marks explored children in ways that are illegal in most countries. Alison asked about our Y2K plans and what we were stocking. KJ fretted about sunless Scandinavians. Alison cheered her up with the "12 Days of Recoil Christmas." Neil asked about our favourite musical moments of the year and KJ started a Shunt slang dictionary.
Hank asked us to come up with eight uses for socks. This thread surprisingly took off as did Farhan's intense fears of Y2K terrorism. Everybody had something to say but Jezebel allayed fears with pizzazz. Ken directed us to depechemode.com to see an old Kurt Loader DM interview where Alan was prominently featured and sassy as ever, which should take our minds off exploding Chinese bottle rockets and plummeting stocks for a few minutes.
Quote Of The Month goes to Alison (or Alimode, as some of us know her). Fox Puppy came close with a Messiah joke but being so close to Christmas and Catholic and all, I hesitate to laud it for all eternity. Alison was selected out of a large number of witty comments because, in one sentence, she summed up the spirit of the Shunt mailing list adequately and amusingly:

"All this midget and sex talk has put me in the mood for David Lynch."


After reading that, how can you NOT join Shunt?
Until next century, you've been tongued by,
Mike Daniella
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe
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