February 1999
February is supposed to bring out the lover in everyone - but not it seems on Shunt, where it merely brought out the fighter. I guess it's safe to say that Michael Jackson is not subbed. I'm sure we'll all get over it. But after learning that most posters on Shunt had nobody to love (and worse, nobody to shag) on V-Day, some interesting conversation could be gleaned.

Kelly Marie
and Agent Orange started off the 'Month of Love' by offering KJ some horse whips. Aww, that's precious. Much sauciness ensued and of course, it got out of hand. Pig orgasms were actually discussed and Sting's were compared - it would appear that those on Shunt believe Sting to be a tantric pig. (amongst other things - Ed.)
On the music front, Aphex Twin was discussed as well as a rumoured appearance by Depeche Mode at the Glastonbury Festival. John and Kristina cried, Micah discussed software for music and later he, John, Shane and Kim discussed samples. And to top it all off, Richard Berry's site clarified everything.

KJ asked the masses what classical song they'd like Alan to interpret. Lesley suggested Bach's 'Tocatta & Fugue in D#', Duck (who turned 30) wanted to hear some Smetana or Berlioz and Ciusky fancied Beethoven's seventh, 'Allegretto', or Ravel's 'Bolero'. As for yours truly, I don't me 'low-brow' but when she said 'classical', I instantly thought of Foghat.
Shane, Dan and Kristina discussed the organisation of a sort of Shunt all-star band and came across the problem of trying to think of a name (and nobody wants to use Dominic's). In addition, Dave's love life was discussed yet AGAIN which somehow lead to a heated exploration of Fran Drescher.
Possible Recoil bumper stickers cropped up, as did Germans, the decline of quality film and Alexandra's topic; make-up for men. I could almost see Lesley and KJ sipping espresso as they discussed math, physics, magic and Jesus whilst Kristina, Duck and Ycantibu piped in after getting a couple of scones and a latte. John demanded moderation while Kristina and others demanded to know why Fletch was so important to a new board game.
As a final twist on the whole senario, KJ suggested that Alan's music impregnates listeners with ethereal Iguana Children and Dusty promptly named his 'Splinter'. Duck, on the other hand, is going for triplets with 'Czryblonn', 'Gertrude' and 'Biff-to-the-third-power'. Must be old age.
Quote Of The Month:

And since I bring up Duck, he is Mr. Quote of the Month:

"I'd like to see what Alan would do with nationalistic Czech music."

And I agree if Charlie tosses it out the window.
Well, kids, it was a short month so it's a short Petals. I would have gladly described the love triangle of Ben, Dominic and KJ, but Charlie's mum reads these sometimes and I don't want to start a family quarrel over decency...

With that, I say...
you've been tongued by:
Mike Daniella
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe
tongue petals archive