TONGUE PETALS 
January 2002
BRING ON THE DANCING YEAR OF THE HORSES...
So 2001 has drawn finally to an end. The upside being: 2001, a year of un(pk)paralleled shitiness on a global scale is over. The downside being: '2001' was a fine film by Stanley Kubrick - and it did feel pretty cool to be able to say "It's the year 2001." Now, I suppose, we can stop living in the 'future' (with our jet packs and hula hoops) and return to the humdrum that permeated human existence up to this point.
Steph, who obviously did nothing interesting or illegal on New Year's Eve, considering she was up at 9am, was the first to post in 2002. Even she had to note the slightly odd point that a person on the western coast of the United States was first followed by Matt, who elucidated for one and all a step-by-step rundown of his drunken hang over.
Of course, Tongue Petals correspondent Sebastian K. was unable to post his New Year well wishings to the list due to temporary incarceration for... well... never mind that.
Also this month, Donna, Conor and Yiggy-Yiggy-Yiz-Yann Le Locat celebrated birthdays. Speaking of humdrum, Yann was oddly aroused by Micah's music and Simon got teary eyed over the non-inclusion of tracks he had heard previously, while Shane Etter likened it to a cool morning breeze blowing through his womanhood. No one seemed as impressed as Dr. LaVey whose expletive-filled review was as glowing as a review consisting almost entirely of expletives can be.
Julie Finley and Hardy compared notes regarding 2001's best discs, Bernard and Neil talked Europop and Zina talked about her "joystick". Once again bringing things around to the humdrum, Kim Johnsson discarded his current sampler in exchange for a virtual analog synthesizer, which kicked off a good week of indecipherable gear talk.
Not to forget the humdrum side of things, first person to receive the coveted (then monthly, and now bestowed bi-annually) Fan of the Month award, Kellie Marie, dropped by to say hi and to inquire if the new Yahoogroup functioned similarly to the Onelists of the past.
To reference the aforementioned humdrum, Laura Ahonen brought to light the pitiful absence of Recoil-themed conversation, which inevitably led to a few days of finger pointing and smack talking whilst, interestingly enough, still not really managing to talk about Recoil. Bravo.
Always one to alight the humdrum here on Shunt, Jason B. showcased a wonderfully blasé attitude towards the general lesbian dislike of 'the cock'. Speaking of which, Raven brought the conversation around to who is having sex these days and who is experiencing a drought d'amore.
Matty Matty Boom Batty asked to be put out of his misery should he ever chase the e-booty and then Yann had the good sense to bring up gear again, hence the next few days of posting were seeped in VST Plug-ins.

Laura Ahonen came down with the flu, which lifted her posts to a new level of unintelligible surrealism and Brian pondered the moral dilemma posed by pirating songs that are out of print or impossible to find.
Julie Finley criticized the on-list chatter which got everyone else criticizing on-list chatter, but as Yann the funky homosapien pointed out, if you're filling the list with boring and useless chatter about how boring and useless the list is, are you really offering a solution?

The crazy Finns were made goodly fun of and some of the olsky wolsky Shunters remembered fondly the good ole days (?) when Micah made up personalities to pester other list members. That one picture floating around the internet of Alan with the fake beard made an appearance, Ben Williams made an unfortunate midget sighting and at month's end, some guy in England got 'nailed' whilst nailing a sheep. Gross.

And this month's rundown:


Posts on all manner of gear - 55
Posts containing New Year greetings - 4
Posts on Micah's music - 14
Posts on how little Recoil gets mentioned - 48
Posts regarding amorous relations with goats - 14
Posts managing to mention Alan or Recoil - 62 out of 321

Finally... Quote Of The Month.

Although only humorous when viewed at a certain angle in certain types of indoor fluorescent light, the following still manages to capture the malaise (the zeitgeist if you will) of the strange world occasionally referred to as Shunt.


Mr... Stupak, take it away...
"You lot really need to find a new hobby. Even your perversity sounds forced and tiresome these days."
Woe are we.

In good times and bad,
Sebastian Cornelius Knight
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe