TONGUE PETALS 
June 2002
THE TURNING POINT OF A KOREA...
Alan celebrated a birthday to start things off this month and the list was rife with Stolichnaya-soaked jokes, pokes and birthday well-wishings. Tiff talked waterbeds and how they buckle like so much space-time under the collapsing supernova of her giant behind. For a change of pace, Laura Ahonen found it necessary to mention in passing her lesbianism and how she thinks deep thoughts on public transit. However, any correlation between the two cannot be independently verified by the Tongue Petals team of trained monkeys.
Chris and Dr LaVey talked anti-corporate mumbo jumbo all the while smothering their functionally useless existences of greed and wastefulness in a failed attempt to drown out the pain of being rich, privileged Americans with well paid jobs and plentiful nourishment. Jen Jordan dissed youth culture and praised the divine absurdity of the Simpsons as Slick gave us a dissertation on the nature of death, violence and the objectification of women - Laura Ahonen in particular.
Paul Lloyd and others prophesied when to expect new Recoil (late 2004 seems to be the consensus) and the sale of Mute Records to EMI continued to be discussed; specifically whether or not Mute as we know it will still exist in 2004. In another vaguely Alan-related thread, Tove wondered whether or not his participation in Depeche Mode was indicative of homosexuality. Hep says "No".
Shaun wondered about Dave Gahan's solo project and when the superb 'Devotional' video will be released on DVD. Speaking of Dave, Kristina Moodie, in spite of being the recipient of a signed keyboard from post-Alan DM, gave the big thumbs down to 'Ultra' and 'Exciter'. There's gratitude for ya!
Everyone got all riled up about some "footy" thing but unfortunately those here at Tongue Petals Central are either Americans or primates (please note these two are not mutually exclusive) and any mention of "soccer", as we derisively refer to it, brings on bouts of extraordinary indifference peppered with a strange desire to dictate the foreign policies of independent nations via brute force and economic sanctions (please note these two are not mutually exclusive).
Raven got all mad because Tiff is (allegedly) hot and talked smack about her and her Eddie Bauer-shoppin', Volkswagen Jetta-drivin', Starbucks-drinkin' rock-smokin' azz. Whether or not dream Recoil collaborator Method Man sampled Recoil was brought up by Lulu, and Tove told Laura she was an idiot. Laura said she wasn't. This took approximately four days to convey. Hrdbody_vs tried to sell us some porn claiming it was "better than Jerry Springer". Well, I'm sold.
Mooape, for whatever reason, requested portable power plants while In addition to narrowly escaping talking about art, this month Jenjen tried to bring some Recoil-related discussion on list and sadly, failed. I blame the Koreans and the pocket-sized Egyptian referee.

Here is this month's statistical rundown:

Alan's birthday - 6
Racially biased jokes - 8
Years of oppression by "The Man" required for the aforementioned jokes to be funny - 400
Talkin' bout footy - 75
Talkin' bout 'Shaft' - 0
This is not a pipe - 9
This is not an entry in the Tongue Petals monthly round-up - 0
Mute Records sale to EMI - 21
Benjamin Williams - 6
Laura and Tove out "smarting" each other - 56

36
out of 298 mentioned, in passing, Alan Wilder or Recoil.

Quote Of The Month:

goes to Tove
"Yes, we are all from Idaho. Idaho is good. You must believe in Idaho."
As always,
Sebastian 'Chewbacca Is my Co-Pilot' K.
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe