June 1999
Apologies to the memory of Stanley Kubrick but the title of this month's report seemed apt considering the confusing yet titilating '2001'-ish plot of June's Shunt ramblings. Charlie's birthday was mentioned in there somewhere but this month Shuntsters (or should I say, Shuntese?) were preoccupied with what it means to be a Shunt list member.
Fear not; Recoil was discussed in and of itself, devoid of list self-referencing. Dusty asked for Recoil video ideas and Micah and KJ declared Recoil to be...get ready for it...deep. Sabinal found a childhood photo of Alan while Dominic did naughty things with Photoshop and yelled at himself for it.
Kristina wondered what would happen if Recoil was suddenly huge all over the world while Sabinal looked around for other black Recoil fans. Kat, Raven and Kristina discovered that Alan is a man. You heard it on Shunt first folks.
Shuntsters tried to figure out what they wanted to be called. I think 'sex-crazed freaks' is a good start. They also wondered what nationality they were, and how they could be 'trained in the ways of Alan'.
My first suggestion is to spend less time referencing 'Star Wars' and more time drinking Stoli. It is possible that Alan and Hep created a monster when they posted the 'porn name/drag name' formula to June's Q & A because every Shuntling and his Mother-Wan-Shuntobi went mad with it.
Depeche Mode were barely discussed, probably because Ken suggested that some songs sound like evil carnival music, which of course prompted a long and squeeling anti-clown thread.
American DM fans and German DM fans were also compared. Going by Hardy G.'s observations, it is apparently normal in Germany to lie in bed at night, crying to 'Somebody'. And here they called me a fag.
The rest of the talk was, well, as Objet has said, like being at a cocktail party except this time, it looks like Alan skipped out early. Zander and KJ lamented adulthood while Dusty and Dan touted self-discipline.
Brian and Chris exposed Project Echelon and KJ challenged the bastards to come get her. Carolynne discussed Australian internet censorship and YellowOx brought up porn just to see his name in Tongue Petals. Oh, the power!
Intelligent dance music fans claimed that intelligent dance music sucks - Higsby asked what the hell it was. Marks went ballistic on the work ethics of today's youth while Hardy G scared Jehovah's Witnesses. KJ and everybody else seems to like cheese while Julie reiterated yet again that she digs Nick Cave. Many concurred. Julie also likes horror films and hates bisexual men who switch on her. Object and Micah got bent out of shape.
Marks listened to medieval music, Sher put on some Squeeze and Renee suggested some Front Line Assembly. YellowOx was a horny drooling mess but Summer helped. Ewan McGregor was deemed scrumptious by every girl and Ken.
Sabinal asked who our favourite video directors were and DandyMaida asked if revenge was all right. KJ made a sober but sleepless call for empathy while Henrik made some sharp observations about history. Objet got all up in Shunt's face for not seeming concerned enough about NATO's actions in Kosovo and Shunt yelled back. Sabinal and others measured the blackness of American pop music and the French invaded the list 'un peu'. We also discovered that Ken may be good looking - only his smudge will tell.
KJ is also throwing a Shunt party. For information, join the Shunt mailing list. Horny, drunk Shuntlettes all lolling about on the floor in their pyjamas playing Recoil records sounds like heaven to me. I would go if I didn't have this damned mysterious lurker thing to keep up.
My favourite Quote Of The Month comes from Higsby because I believe it sums up the two most involving threads for the month of June:

"I wonder what Slobodan Milosovic's 'Star Wars' name is? Slomi____?"
Until next month however, you've been tongued by:
Mic-Da Ghia or if you prefer, MeowMeow Macaluso
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe
tongue petals archive