September 1999

A poem by Mike Daniella

'Twas five months before 'Liquid' and all through the list
Not a Shuntling was bitching, 'cos Alan gave hints!
Kind Charlie had told us collaborators' names
A motley bunch of talents of varying fames
Shane and the other geeks talked MP3 players
While Ben made a tard list and started new flamers
Mason Verger said the new disc was called 'Liquid'
Shunt all believe him so the name has stick-ed
Marks said some nice words about Vicious Pink
Shuntlings loved KJ's party while she said it stinked
She might host the next Charliecon at Ben's place
Perhaps Fox Puppy can flame him face to face!
And Rich found a site for the Golden Gate singers
Julie and James exchanged several big zingers
KJ thought Alan was hinting to the nation
That there would be a song about auto-erotic-asphyxiation
because he had mentioned the late Hutchence, Michael
To make this line rhyme, I bought a motorcycle
Dusty told Shunsters of T-I-S-M
The Shunt boys got horny for Nicole Blackman
LaVey's book was picked up but he then had to pout
They wouldn't publish 'till his fat was sucked out
Dignity intact he said, "Sod you, New York!"
Everyone thought that Trent Reznor's a dork
Christian, our Objet, saw the Pet Shop Boys
Shuntsters bought records and lots of fun toys
Christian suggested a woman in Mode
Shuntese think music vids are for the commode
Rich exposed for us the Polish in 'Sermon'
Now I wish something was said by a German.
Receiver John asked what Alan's next album
should have more of and I say, "Nude chicks, lots of 'em!"
The Schnurds talked of video games and anime
Jen ran a lot; the Mode Gap ad is gay
Marks preached soulfully to trust more in Alan
Ben hates Fox Puppy like Russians hate Stalin
America got hit by Floyd and diseases
We all think Alan is cooler than Jesus
Marks' neighbourhood is self-contained horror
Vi asked for pube-shaving tips she could borrow
Rich showed us Chris Watkins' page and what's on it?
Possible track list for possible 'Liquid'!
Nicole Blackman subbed, that intrepid soul
Now Shuntese will beg her for stats on Alan's pole
With Hep in her nightie and Alan's night cap
We all settle down for a long five month's nap
Don't wake us until the new album comes out
And when that day comes, with great joy will we shout!
My Quote Of The Month comes from Neil, better known as YellowOx:

"I've got a brochure with midgets in it. I'd really like a nice
yellow one. I've always fancied having a midget. My brother-in- law used to have a midget - he took his midget around France once!"
Until next month, you've been tongued by:
Mike Daniella
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe
tongue petals archive