TONGUE PETALS 
September 2000
PLEASE PASS THE STRAIT JACKET
Bidding farewell to Mike Daniella, I'll take this opportunity to wish him the best and thank him graciously for all the time and effort he gave to Tongue Petals. An arduous task with unknown reward, he handled it with wit, devotion and a supercalafragilistic style. Cheers mate! You'll be missed.
Now, because I suffer the same mental affliction as our dearly departed Daniella, I was accepted to carry the flag. However, lacking foresight, I didn't pay enough attention to much of the month's earlier activities which would explain any lack of coverage for my Shunt debut.
Of course, all should recall much anticipation for the release of the 'Jezebel' single, baited by those who already gave it a spin; those devious little mongers hanging their precious promos above the heads of those less fortunate. Keep up the good work chaps! There hasn't been such scintillating foreplay since 'Strange Hours'.
While it remains a challenge to forget the impact that MTV's video awards had on most everyone, you can be certain that efforts continue. It was like a moment of Lynch-esque surrealism to hear of Shane's betrothed Ms. Spears-turned-stripper and Lavey's maelstrom of mad-minis within one nights' corporate circus. E-gads! Will it require therapy to recover from such a vision?
Talk touched briefly on the Olympics. As Shaun wanted to add events benefiting the UK, the US hoarded their usual glut of medals. However, most agree that it's the result of careful product placement and sadomasochistic self-discipline (not to mention the illegal drugs - Ed). Speaking of which, Jenn plans to torture herself in her second annual AIDS marathon. She's been soliciting the Shunt mass nearly as much as Lavey has been prostituting, err, I mean positioning himself for FOTM. With issues of polygamy and the debaucherous lobbying of Chief Advisor Shane, it's turning out to be an interesting campaign.
Several got lost in yet ANOTHER religious debate, Francesc came in via the Catalan connection and Ken is organising a Shuntian-style gathering in LA for Diamanda's November performance. Sweeping up spirits, Ms Moodie enquired if any creative sorts might use a genital medium for Recoil-related art works (see what too much telly can do?) while Foxpuppy and Angela matched wits with replies of 'Luscious Apparatus' and 'Black Box'.
Fabe made his temporary departure while relocating to Europe just as Ben made his grand return, only to be welcomed by those attempting to impersonate facets of his split personality. Midge exploited Charlie, Zander did his best to grumble and, once the farce subsided, the real Ben posted Sonicnet's review of 'Liquid', by Tony Fletcher. Well done.
With this, the tone shifted back to the release and inevitable critiques of 'Jezebel'. Kristina bugged out and shared her booty shaken review, Chris voiced the need for nudity in the videos and Foxpuppy agreed with mention of Ms. Blackman's bosom.
Raven's taking up arms dealing in aide to Julz, congratulations went to Dusty (the new Daddy) and thanks went to Rich for supplying the reminder link to Charlie on German radio. For dessert, Kris served a fluffy NME update.
Discussion continued with other artists' current or upcoming works. In typical fashion, just about everyone has opinions so rest assured that nearly all is equally loved and hated, just like all the different brands of vodka... which leads me to the problems experienced when linking to the live chat? Luckily, Rich came to the rescue once again! Then, a few Shuntians watched in awe as Charlie, with the patience of a saint (or the high of a kite?), endured over an hours worth of quick rolling scroll.
Ounce for ounce, it was a heavy month with plenty of opportunity to get your RDA of Recoil. This MUST be why everyone's finding Julz so unusually chipper.
Quote Of The Month goes to Raven. In her tributary state of intoxication, she wrote:



"To say Mode would induce 4-day runs is simply giving Martin too much credit."
Tongue in cheek 'till your licked again,
Ewan Rendale
Photography - Robert Mapplethorpe